I spend a lot of time with the other guys here at Bro Seriously. Not only are we friends who spend time together in real life and online, some of us work together at our day jobs. When you spend that much time with someone, you can’t help but incorporate different pieces of their personalities into your own. In many ways that has fueled a lot of growth for each of us. As we’ve been looking forward on what we want to do to branch out further we have spent a good amount oftime talking about what we can and can’t do and where we want to be. It’s had me thinking about personal growth and what I’ve learned over the years. I’m no expert by any means but I thought today would be a good chance to share a few things I’ve figured out.
Step One: Choose Good Metrics To Measure By
Before you do anything else you have to set goals. Before you set goals you have to have a good set of standards to base them on. The problem with a lot of the goals people set is that they’re based on bad ideas or are short sighted. When you’re deciding who you want to be you have to really understand what will make you that person. If you want to be successful you have to definite success in a way that will out last a benchmark of monetary wealth or a set period of time. Millionaire isn’t success. It may be a part of it, but it’s probably a side effect of true success. It may be better defined as “continuing to grow in my chosen profession” or “living up to my full potential at work”. Happy isnt a goal. It’s a vague idea. It’s better to say “form deeper, more meaningful connections to the people in my life” or “finding something to dedicate my time to that I find fulfilling and will make a positive impact for others”. Don’t let what you build your life on be shallow or vague.
Step Two: Set Goals That Change Your Lifestyle
When you have the right principles to measure your success, it will changethe goals you set. Instead of “lose ten pounds” you’ll decide to “make excercise a habit”. Instead of “get a raise” you’ll shoot for “work harder and find new opportunities”. You stop drawing lines in the sand and start drawing paths on a map. You aren’t just doing new things, you’re becoming a new person. Something that always stuck with me (though I still struggle to live by it) is if you ask anyone what they would go back and do differently if they could go back ten or twenty years with what they know now they will describe someone who is vastly different from who they are. There’s a different way to look at the possibilities of that scenario that eludes most people. Try imagining what you 10 to 20 years from now would want to come back and change about today. They would want you to eat better, spend more time with family, invest instead of buying pointless stuff on a whim. That kind of thinking will change your life because it changes your perspective and changes what drives you.
Step Three: You Are Who You Spend Time With And What You Read.
The way I originally heard it put was : “The difference between you now and you in a decade is who you meet and what you read”. Those two factors influence your growth more than anything else. Who you choose to have in your life and the information you purposefully take in will reflect out in everything you do. take time and care to really look at the people in your life. Do they encourage you to be your best? Are they growing? Are they helping elevate others or tearing people down? Who we are close to has a real effect on us. We influence ntuem in the same ways. Looking at groups of long time friends, studies have shown that average income, marital status, health, and a variety of other factors are often close across their lives. This is in spite of differing or socioeconomic backgrounds. The people you are around will grow with you or keep you stagnant. You will do the same to them. What you learn has a similar effect. Reading non fiction has been shown repeatedly to improve nearly every metric that would typically quantify “success”. Reading is part of the key there. Not watching, not listening. Actively reading, for reasons some scientist probably understands that I don’t, has a bigger impact than other forms of information consumption. So if you want to grow, you have to read.
Step Four: None Of This Matters If You Don’t Do Something
Here’s the hard part. You have to actually do things to see change. You have to eat better or go running or read a book or practice skills for work or whatever it may be. It’sgoing to be difficult. It’s going to be uncomfortable. It’ll take time to see results. You have to keep going. There’s no quick fixes for legitimate life changes. So you’re left with two choices: stay the same and be comfortable or be uncomfortable for a time and be better.
Like I said, I’m no expert. Im not anywhere near where I need to be. I really struggle with all of this. I’mnot giving up though. I may stall out. I may fall short. Eventually, though, I get going again. I got lucky enough to know some good people who have helped me along the way. Hopefully I’ve done the same for others. I don’t have a magic spell that can solve any problem. All I have is a little advice that me twenty years in the future would really appreciate if I would stick to better than I have been.
Keep growing,
Jarrod
Side Quests is what happens when Jarrod has an idea for something to wrote that isn’t about games. They happen from time to time and he hopes you get something out of them.